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  • Writer's pictureRachel Vitagliano

Your Wedding Is Not A Family Reunion

Updated: Sep 24, 2022

Photo By Candid Memories Studio

Friendly reminder that your wedding is not a family reunion!

Your guest list can be the most stressful part of the planning process. Who do I invite? Who do I cut from my list? There is often a lot of pressure from parents to invite literally your entire family, but this is your day, so you invite who you want to invite. You don't have to invite your third cousin who you haven't seen in years just because you used to play Bratz dolls with them when you were 7. You don't have to invite your weird aunt who isn't even actually your aunt, just because she has known you since you were a baby. You don't have to invite your uncle's second wife's daughter who babysat you one time when you were 5. This is my best advice when it comes to deciding who makes the cut.

  1. If you haven't spoken to or seen someone in over 2 years, don't invite them. If that family member at the very least isn't sending you a yearly birthday text, they don't need to be at your wedding.

  2. Is every conversation with that person exhausting? Some people are just draining. The conversation is somehow always about them or everything they have to say is negative. Don't invite the person who is going to complain about the ice in their drink being too cold.

  3. Have a kid-free wedding! Even if you adore kids or have kids of your own, they don't need to come to your wedding. Kids in general can be a headache, but kids on your wedding day? Yeah, no thanks! Picture your Maid of Honor giving a heartfelt speech and your cousin's baby starts crying. Mood killer.

  4. Have someone on your guest list that you're inviting solely because they invited you to their wedding? Not everything in life needs to be reciprocated!

  5. Be selective with who you allow to bring a "plus one." You can decide which invitations offer a plus one. If one of your bridesmaids has only been seeing someone for a few months and you don't really care for them, don't offer for them to bring a plus one! It's your day, not theirs!

  6. You don't have to invite your work "friends." If you've never hung out with them outside of the office, or you've never had a genuine conversation with them, don't invite them.

  7. Lastly, be selective and stern with family. You don't have to invite a family member just because your mom wants you to. Make a rule between the two of you for which family members will be invited and which will not. For instance, if your significant other isn't inviting aunts and uncle's, don't invite them on your side. Of course every family looks different, and you might be super close with one of your aunts, but invites don't need to be extended to every family member, like your uncle who isn't actually your uncle.

This is your day. If you want to invite every person you've ever said "hello" to, then do that, but I'll let this serve as your last reminder that your wedding, does not have to be a family reunion! Let's say it together so I know you're listening; "my wedding is not a family reunion." Now say it louder for the people in the back! As for the friends, family, or colleagues who may have stumbled upon this, may the odds be ever in your favor.


Rachel Vitagliano

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